Eye control

Eye control is an integral part of listening.

Several different focal points that enhance listening include wide, deep, reverse, and askance.

To have a wide-eyed, unfocused gaze emphasizes the importance of cues beyond words and timbre. An attempt is made to see the whole person who is more than this moment of conversation. This is a portion of waiting for the issue behind the issue to reveal itself. There is no hurry here. A needed response will begin at the right time, an interjection will come unbidden. The other is honored with presence.

A deep look is not investigative but alert to loving-kindness that can be nurtured within both speaker and listener. At stake is locating a fulcrum point that will shift toward healing. The other is honored with participation.

From time to time, a listener needs to gaze inward to note how this is going for them. It may be time or past time to look for another time. Some personal experience being triggered may have its opportunity to identify a third pair of shoes for both to walk in for awhile. A question can be raised whether I’m looking for a way to break in and redirect. The other is honored with integrity.

There is no need to trust another’s perception or recounting. The old saw about “trust and verify” is as important between people as it is between national adversaries. This sharpens what question to ask and to bring back a shaggy-dog story to the issue at hand. The other is honored with reality.

Additional foci are also needed. At this point, the only point is that listening involves all the senses. Among them is what sight can do to improve one’s hearing that it might become a listening that moves everyone into a more fruitful frame of reference, even as a mustard plant can be a nesting place for new life to arise.

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